Do Unto Others

I am what's known as a "people person" in that I like people. I like talking to them, I like hanging out and making plans with them, I like checking in and catching up. However, I also like people to stay the hell away. Our neighbors, although I adore them, do not understand this. They think stopping by and checking on the boyfriend without calling or giving notice, while our house smells like B.O. and pizza, is more than OK. They also think using our fridge when theirs is full and putting a porta potty in our yard when having a party, because their yard is small, is also OK. This is not OK. I like my yard without shit in it and my fridge empty. This is the way I live. I started this lifestyle in college when I was on coffee and cigarettes. Now I am on coffee and slimfast so there's no real reason for food in my fridge. And no one likes shit in their yard. Got it, neighbor??