I Know It's Fabulous, But Please Get Off My Ass

The weekend seriously puts a damper in my workout schedule which is odd since before I started this program, I only worked out on the weekends. It was my Saturday morning routine with the gym followed by breakfast at a local diner. Now, however, working out three plus days a week doesn't make Saturday such a necessity. I therefore find more time for exciting things like cleaning the toilet. Yay! Saturday fun.

I haven't worked out since Thursday and even though I don't have anything health and fitness related to say, I still feel compelled to talk to you. Today I will vent about the Pennsylvania drivers. They're awful. For some reason, they feel compelled to get right behind you despite the gigantic yellow signs that say "Don't Tailgate." In California, that's just a given. It's like the driver's ed instruction went like this: Five second rule? No, that doesn't exist. Silly teenager. What you do instead is get right behind that person in front of you. You know you're close enough when they start to panic and stare in the rear view mirror. Now the speed limit, that's the starting point so begin there and go up. Ninety-five is fine - even on this two lane road. Ah, here we come to a yield sign. Now yield means to floor it and swerve around the cars already on the road. Good, very good. Uh oh, there's some traffic up ahead. What you do in this situation is go around the stopped cars by driving on the shoulder. No need to slow down from ninety-five and no, the shoulder is not for emergencies. Op - you slowed down a little. Better get back up to ninety-five. And remember: green means go, yellow means go faster, and red means get past the oncoming traffic quickly cause they'll be coming at you. If you do every find yourself stopped, just honk your horn. That's to let everyone know your foot is off the gas pedal. Very good! 'A' for the day!

And scene.

I am adjusting to the drivers here and the other day, I even went ninety on the turnpike. I am strangely pleased as I feel like I am fitting in. I didn't die, didn't get pulled over, and didn't take off. I did, however, poop myself. Hi Mom!